I’m in the midst of a massive writing project that will likely take three to four years. But I want to share a small portion of what I’ve written. And I’d like feedback.
The excerpt below is in a chapter that explores reasons to think God does or does not exist. I address the usual arguments for and against, and I offer commentary. Then I turn to my own experience and make some unconventional arguments.
Meaning, Love, and More
My earliest memories include believing God exists. My parents and everyone I knew believed in God, and in my youngest days, I never seriously doubted. In fact, I became a young evangelist, witnessing to people at school, on the street, at the beach, in bars, and door to door. It was difficult for me to understand why any serious person could not believe.
In my early twenties, however, I took a philosophy of religion class. While reading the assignments, I encountered strong arguments against God’s existence. These arguments led me to doubt I had solid grounds to believe in God. For the sake of intellectual honesty, I became an atheist/agnostic.
Two issues prompted my return to belief. First, I wanted to think my life and life in general were ultimately meaningful. I could not imagine how this could be true if there was no ground of ultimate meaning most people call “God.” This didn’t prove God’s existence, of course, and even today I’m not certain. But my quest for meaning led me back to belief.
The second issue arose from my deep intuitions about love. I thought I ought to be a loving person, and everyone ought to love. In some deep sense, love must be the answer to our important questions. These intuitions seemed to need a Source of Love beyond but including influences from my body, upbringing, social settings, and evolutionary history. I surmised, therefore, that a Lover is the impetus for my intuitions. This is no proof of God’s existence, however, and even today I’m not certain.
Based on my quest for meaning and intuitions of love, I took a risk and believed in God. I continue to risk. In the years following my stint as an atheist/agnostic, I slowly reconstructed my views about God and creation. Today, my belief does not rely upon some indubitable proof or undeniable evidence. But neither is my belief in God blind, arbitrary, or uninformed.
I have reasons to believe.
Abductive Reasoning
Many arguments for God’s existence use deductive reasoning. They start with a truth a person can allegedly know with certainty. This truth may come from a book, tradition, mystical experience, science, independent reason, or some other authority. From that absolute truth, other truths are deduced, in the sense of teasing out the absolute truth’s implications. Effective deduction has a sure foundation from which one derives certain conclusions.
I don’t find deductive reasoning helpful when pondering God’s existence. I doubt there are any error-free foundations from which we can start deducing. No book, tradition, experience, rationality, or authority is infallible. I suspect absolute truth exists, but I don’t think any human can know it absolutely.
I am attracted to inductive reasoning when considering God’s existence. And I’m attracted to its partner, abduction. Inductive reasoning draws together evidence to make a claim that’s probably but not certainly true. It reasons from specific observations to form general conclusions. This way of thinking leans upon empirical evidence, scriptures, science, reason, and various experiences to speculate that God exists. But induction never provides certainty.
Similarly, abduction surveys as much evidence as possible and explores all the arguments available, for and against. From this, it arrives at a tentative but plausible explanation. This is what scientists call “inference to the best explanation.” But the explanation is fallible and always open to change. The process is ongoing.
Abductive reasoning requires risk and curiosity. The verdict is always out, so we act in light of our best speculation. In terms of theology, this means the question of God’s existence is never fully resolved. But we can have reasons to think God is part of the best available theory for understanding life, given various arguments, experiences, reasoning, and evidence.
I don’t pretend to be bias-free or completely objective when I consider God’s existence. No one can be. My interpreting is shaped by world views, conceptual frameworks, or grand narratives. The evidence I gather, my various experiences, and my reasoning fit well or poorly into these grand frameworks. And assessing which framework might be best is an ongoing venture.
The best overall frameworks account for widest experience. They make sense rationally and their ideas fit together. The best frameworks are adequate to the facts we think we have available and can be applied to life. Believing should be humble, therefore, because we’re never certain. We employ the best overall framework, being open to reconsidering, deconstructing, and reconstructing.
Other Reasons to Speculate God Exists
Abductive reasoning functions within a flexible conceptual and experiential matrix. Consequently, it includes other reasons we might think God exists.
Take great sex as an example. In the ecstasy of intimacy and orgasm, we sometimes experience the Divine. We might even sigh, “Oh, God!” in a rapturous moment. This connection between God and sex is why some religions include sex workers at their temples, as problematic as that may be. When sex is great, Something More seems at work. Sex can be a reason to believe.
Or take the birth of a newborn. Parents can feel a unique Presence in the birthing process or when holding the infant. Grandparents may feel the same. The miracle of a mother’s womb and the creation of a tiny someone incline many to thank Someone. Experiences with infants can be another reason to believe.
Sporting events and athletic feats inspire us. The thrill of victory prompts many to thank God for, in some way, helping them. Just watch post-game interviews. More than once I’ve experienced spiritual ecstasy when the team I was on or pulling for won a championship. But the agony of defeat can also reveal the divine. Many athletes and fans feel a Comforter when they endure disappointment. They credit the Divine for sustaining them amid letdown and loss.
One of my most profound spiritual experiences came at a U2 concert. Although I’d been listening to the band since my teens, I did not see them live until my forties. When hearing music that carried me through life’s ups and downs, I experienced a Transcendent response. I went to a U2 concert and ended up worshiping Someone without an instrument! Music can point to a Musician alongside musicians.
The arts in general can woo us into states we think are sparked by Divinity. Insights from an audio interview or the prick of our conscience from a great book also seem holy. More than once I’ve sat silent in a theater after watching a film that moved me to contemplate a Mover. I felt this way after watching Schindler’s List, for instance, and Everything Everywhere All at Once. I feel it when Sam carries Frodo to Mount Doom.
As a nature photographer, I’ve had plenty of “God moments.” When composing a scene, I sometimes feel a Jolt. I felt close to the Creator while photographing a moose and her calf, a grouse and chicks, and two Gopher snakes copulating. I consider these creatures my companions, and I greet them, “Hello, friend.” This call of friendship is, as I see it, prompted by the Friend of all creation. But a photographic experience can be revelatory. (Here’s a link to some of my photos.)
Speaking of friends, my wife is my closest confidante and life partner. While our marriage has its ebbs and flows and while neither of us is perfect, I feel Another in our relationship too. My wife is not God, but I sometimes sense God profoundly when in her presence. Our enduring partnership is one reason I speculate the steadfast love of a divine Friend endures forever.
Moments in a religious worship service can transport me into communion with a holy Presence. I’ve felt Conviction when kneeling at an altar, a Glow when receiving communion, and Ecstasy when standing, arms outstretched, singing with gusto. I’ve also felt a Nudge in silent meditation, as I attend to the gentle caress of Love. However, boring worship services and long sermons make me think a devil exists!
Conclusion
I could add more reasons to believe. Each points to the fact that in various settings and circumstances, we sometimes get the impression Something More is active. This More includes but transcends natural actors, factors, and forces, but these are also at play. These reasons to believe are not proofs, but they are evidence. And they influence me to think God exists.